Deer Park Monastery, Escondido, CA
Shining Light:
There is a practice that the monastics do in this system called "Shining Light". I think it happens once a year, and they did it in December. It's kind of a peer review thing, where the monastics get together over the course of several weeks, and one by one, each monastic is put under the metaphoric shining light. All the brothers share their impressions and observations of each of the other monks, both positive and negative, but a lot of thought goes into the language so that anything said comes out supportive and with suggestions for improvement. No whining. The tricky thing is that in Shining Light, even though one monastic (the nuns do it separately) might be the focus, often what comes out of mouth of the monastic who is shining the light, says just as much about him or her. So the community watches and listens deeply and picks up things about the shinee and the shiner, and by extension the entire community as a whole. Apparently it's a refreshing time for the monastics and helps nurture the brotherhood and sisterhood.

In an unprecedented move, made possible probably only because of Deer Park's distance from Plum Village and ability to do things as deemed to fit a situation, the monks here decided to perform Shining Lights on me and the other aspirant here. Part of the reason is practical. Deer Park hasn't had too many aspirants here who have stayed here for such a long time before going to Plum Village. Part of the reason for the Shining Light is so that when we do go to Plum Village, the monks here can send the Shining Light record to the monks there so they have an idea who we are, what we've been doing, and where we are on our paths. Clever. Very, very clever.

So I had my Shining Light last night, and it was interesting. Very, very interesting. Admittedly, it wasn't a real Shining Light, and they put on the kid gloves for us, really fudging everything towards the more positive, and that's reasonable. Hey, I'm still surprised that they even performed it in the first place, I certainly don't expect that they treat us with the same brotherhood and outrightness that they do each other. It's difference in realities.

It was interesting hearing my experience here coming back at me from the perspective of various monks. Of note, all the Western brothers spoke, including one who doesn't know me that well, and only one of the Vietnamese brothers spoke, one of the most senior ones. Even one Vietnamese brother who spoke English and I knew had something positive to say about me declined. I'm letting it go for now, but it's an observation.

There were a lot of keen observations, nothing new to me, of course, and nothing that they picked up on surprised me, just impressed me as being keen. There was a lot they didn't pick up on, of course, since I'm not a brother, I'm not living with them, and my role here is separate from the brotherhood. They praised my assets, my participation, my energy, my contributions, my sense of humor, believe it or not but I do have a sense of humor, but they also honed in on my loner, avoidant tendencies and independent spirit, which is a concern in a system where community is central. It was interesting hearing brothers interpreting the same thing in me in different ways. One brother commented about what looked like "shyness", but then another brother came right out and re-iterated that as "loner". I feel fine with this Shining Light going with me to Plum Village as a foundation for the brothers there getting to know me.