ex-bandmate Lisa came by today to pick up and take away, on indefinite loan, my Trace Elliot bass rig, once my pride and joy, now a very expensive and very heavy (and potentially very loud) piece of furniture (my neighbors are lucky that they're reasonably quiet, lest they prompt a volume war). So much effort into pushing my music equipment away from me, scattered across the country now, and I still have four guitars in my apartment. We got a bite to eat at Atlas, and it's interesting that we were close enough that after two years of absence, our conversations have immediately been on the same level as they used to be (that's neither good nor bad, just fact), but then we weren't close enough to remain in contact for those two years, and quite honestly it wouldn't have made much difference if she didn't call on me this time around.

The strangest thing she said was that she couldn't see me not cycling. Maybe she just meant biking, as in just transportation, since every time we did anything when we were in the band, I was always on my bike. But cycling, aside from transportation, is just something I do now because I like it. I don't have to do it, no primal drive to ride, "cyclist" is not on my personal CV. It was strange because she can't see me not cycling, but . . . she can see me not playing bass or drums? And I do feel a void in not playing anymore, I do feel I've let go a part of my personality. It may be something I regret years down the line, but right now I need to stop, unattach, and let go of the way-too-much music equipment I have.