Well, as practice period rounds into week eight out of nine, I must say that it really has been . . . I dunno. It's been good. It's like I've always been doing this, even though prior seven weeks ago, I've never gotten up at five in the morning to ride two miles to go sit for an hour, save for that week at Deer Park last October.

But then prior to the start of this practice period, it had felt like I had always been sitting twice a day for 45 minutes, but prior to Deer Park, I don't think I sat for 45 minutes ever, much less twice a day. And prior to Deer Park, I had never sat with a Sangha, practice was a flaky bit that could hardly even be called 'practice' even though I considered it a core part of my identity, and I never discussed stuff like this out in the open.

But doing this practice period, I don't think I'll ever say that it feels like I've always sat four times a day. It hasn't always been easy, and I let myself be flexible so as to not get discouraged. But it's hard regulating oneself. That said, for the last two weeks I'm allowing my second night sessions, the home one, be optional. ***YAAAAY!!!!***

Man, but that does take a weight off.

After I finish my ninth week, I'm taking a week totally off while SFZC does their week-long intensive, haha! I can't afford the intensive week practice, for once being poor comes in handy. But then starting the first week in April is the Tassajara work-practice program, so I have to decide on and commit to that sometime in the *ahem* near future. Three weeks of monastic living, sure to give me a better idea about it than the one week at Deer Park, no? I should commit, shouldn't I? Just do it. Just have to make sure I do my taxes before I go. Don't think about money otherwise. No expenses during those three weeks. Work, sit, run, get dirty. Yea, run. Since I won't have a bike. I should start running now to get over the soreness stage of starting a running season before I go there.