Oh my god, I just realized I have a problem. When is the last time I called someone? The last time I called Sadie, it had been so long that I had to look up her number. I guess Delphine and I are OK and comfortable, but more often than not, I'll call, let it ring 3 or 4 times and hang up quickly and let her call me back once she sees that I tried calling.

I got a call from Lisa yesterday. Lisa of the band, Lisa. Lisa who I haven't seen in two years, Lisa. Lisa who last time left a message, left her cell number, home number, and two email addresses, and I still didn't respond although I meant to Lisa.

Needless to say, her calling now was probably a big thing for her, although she mentioned she was back together with Denise, with whom I've had sporadic email contact in the past year, so maybe that had something to do with it.

I need to call back this time. But I reach for the phone, and it's, "Maybe it'll be better if I call tonight", "I'll call tomorrow", "Maybe I should call for New Years", "Maybe I'll wait a week, lull her into thinking I'm not gonna call back, which is what she was half expecting anyway, and then surprise her, but in delaying, also suggesting that there was something behind the delay". OK, I have a problem.