Welly, welly, well. 2004, according to my clock. Actually, my clock has not the year on it, but it is 8:04 in the evening, so that's close enough, isn't it? I didn't do anything today, total break day, rainy and dreary day, let myself drink, got a little boring by the evening, watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". I love how parts of that movie never stop being funny no matter how many times I watch it.

Yesterday afternoon I rode out to the Golden Gate Bridge to hopefully catch a glimpse of the U.S.S. Midway that was sailing out (being towed, actually) of Alameda to go into retirement in San Diego. Maybe they're turning it into a museum. But no such luck, and apparently, riding the 8 miles from the Mission to the bridge is slower than it takes to tow an aircraft carrier from Alameda out to open sea.

I spent New Year's Eve at SF Zen Center, helping with the New Year's cleaning, having a snack of noodles, and then sitting and walking into the new year. They really probably should have ended the sitting when the fireworks and the car horns honking started, since it was obvious it was midnight, and distracting, probably, for most of us. We ended about 10 minutes after midnight. After that we did something they called a "fire ceremony", which was just lighting a bonfire in the courtyard and people writing things down on pieces of paper or wood, things that they wanted to let go of in the new year or something like that, and tossing it in the fire. I couldn't think of anything, I should have written "indecisiveness" as that seems to be a hallmark of my being, but I wasn't taking it or myself too seriously, so I just wrote "moo!" and tossed it in the fire. Poor mad cows, come to think about it. I also tossed in one of my old business cards, and to my horror it took a while for it to catch on fire. I was close to exclaiming, "My business card won't burn!"

I'm glad I chose going there for New Years instead of a party with the girls (I did talk with Lisa on Monday) or a show with Delphine. No drinking, no socializing, no hubbub, so that was just right. That was the first time I sat with the SF Zen Center sangha, and it was comfortable, same thing as with Deer Park emphasizing the importance of the community, although not necessarily connecting with this community. I'm still being guarded with my association with them. I still don't know anyone there and taking care not to really meet anyone there. Their importance for me is just by being there, but not to socialize or to form a relationship. It was a big enough step for me just to be open to them.