Deer Park Monastery, Escondido, CA

Incredible. That little situation that was the source of such negativity might be over. All it took was patient mindfulness and some willingness for a solution to manifest. Just a few days ago I was feeling any monastic aspiration might be over if I couldn’t deal with something so petty. Then last night, sleeping in the tea room to avoid another sleepless night, this time due to someone else’s snoring, I realized what I needed to do and how to do it.

And I hate to say this, but a lot of it had to do with timely words by Thich Nhat Hanh. I’m not into hero worship, or teacher worship, as it may be, which is fairly prevalent in Asian cultures. People who quote Thich Nhat Hanh around here drive me crazy because it stinks of cult-like behavior. If you’re talking to me or sharing during Dharma discussions, don’t quote Thich Nhat Hanh to me. I want to know what your thoughts are, you talk to me and not through Thich Nhat Hanh quotes. If you’re drawing on something inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh, then tell me what it meant to you, and how you interpreted it to gain meaning for yourself.

So back to the situation, I had formulated solutions prior, but they might not have come across as compassionate, and in the terminology of practice, those might not have been the most skillful means for solving the problem. I won’t go into detail, being mindful of who might end up reading this, but this morning I got a moment with a person relevant to this issue, and expressed my “suffering”, as described by Thich Nhat Hanh, and proposed a solution in the form of a request (I didn’t mention that I already had the wheels of that solution turning).

It went well, and although the substance of any issues weren’t addressed, it seems any immediate tensions might have been dissipated. Oddly, I hear my pride grumbling in the corner. In secular life, if I had tensions with someone, I’d most likely not see any need to address the negativity and let it fester. And here I am doing something indicative of an internal transformation. Compassion, reaching out, skillful means. I didn’t think I had it in me, and my pride would rather I didn’t have it in me, thus the grumbling. Oh, my pride is calling me names now, it just called me a pansy-ass wimp-face. I have to go sic my maturity on my pride.

This is not to suggest this is the end of the story.