There was a time when I could make friends and maintain them. Pasha flew into town today for a conference down in Monterey, it has probably been ten years since we've seen each other. We had been out of touch during the entirety of that time until I emailed him last fall. If there was an argument that Mark (high school physics teacher/music mentor in Tucson) and I had knowledge of what was at the core of each other, there was no question about Pasha and me.

His memory of events from college stunned me, things that I had completely forgotten or put out of my mind, the details about me he brought up were often embarrassing recollections. He does have a great brain, but it was a bit of a shock because it showed that I did have an impact on his international college experience. And the conversation was still easy, we could still talk about anything and be honest. He asked why I dropped out of contact and I told him. At the time, he didn't know and he tried to come up with some reasons. When I told him the real reason, I don't think he was entirely satisfied with it, neither was I, stupid reason, but then he just let it go and the conversation went on.

It was nice being with someone you can ask anything and who can ask you anything without fear, although I dodged reminding him why I got suspended after my first semester at Oberlin, and I did keep my long-sleeve shirt on all day despite the heat. Things he probably knew about at some time, or not, but understandably put out of his mind, and if asked, I didn't want to answer.

Really good people. Really good times. Marked by immaturity and inexperience of being college-aged. But that's when things were exciting and new, and not redundant and cynical. I'm a bitter old man.

He mentioned having run into Amina in Dhaka of all places around five years ago. I resisted asking how she looked, but I didn't like the reminder of her continued, actual existence somewhere, cheapening the iconography of her that is seared into my memory. I was comforted at Pasha's confoundment of why Amina went and surprisingly married Waleed. At least I'm not the only one. Really, it's all water under the horse's mouth.

The friends I had at Oberlin were certainly precious, and I was certainly too immature to appreciate and hold on to them. All of them had their impact, but I think Pasha, Amina, and another person, Myung Soo, had the biggest effect on me. They were the ones who really challenged and changed me and pointed me into new directions. With Myung Soo and Pasha it was mostly academic and intellectual. Amina matured my notions of love, and she changed my perception of life and even my personality. I think I was a different person before and after I set eyes on Amina, and I do think it was for the better.