The Buckminster Fuller play was excellent, but not because of anything that was actually said, but because of what the discourse made my mind do and think about. It's a one-man play, an actor playing the title role of the reknowned, 20th Century, arguably crackpot, architect/philosopher. He was a visionary and an idealist. Some ideas were very simple, like the feasibility of feeding and housing the entire planet, and the technological ability to get more while using less, and it's depressing knowing that they won't be realized any time soon, given the current political structure of nation-states and the inherent counter-productivity regarding global and corporate economics. And his more bigger concepts about viewing the world were intriguing.

One thing the play made me think about was the idea of the "universe", it being one thing, the whole enchilada, everything contained in it. Traditionally we think of the universe just in spatial terms, it being here, wherever. But the temporal aspect is also a part of it, time isn't just a fleeting regulator that prevents everything from happening at once. It is all happening at once, including time, we just experience it sequentially. Most scientists now recognize that we live in (or experience, rather) four dimensions, not three. Three spatial dimension, and one temporal dimension, time. Time is given the same value as spatial dimensions, so when you conceive the universe, you have to include time, all of it, from beginning to end, existing at once.

We look up at the night sky and some of the stars we see aren't even there anymore, they've long since novaed and we're seeing the light that shone 30,000 years ago. In real time, the star doesn't exist. But time 30,000 years ago still does exist, as we are still observing it. So when Kansas sings, "I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone", it's poetic, but doesn't conform to current science. Actually, it's all very Matrix.

My old friend Valerie from Oberlin is in town for a conference and we're meeting up tonight to catch the Buckminster Fuller play that everyone has been raving about. Valerie gets placed in the same category as Mark H. in Tucson in my life; an older, quasi-authority figure who amazes me and stuns me with the sheer quality of life and living that they bring to the table, but from whom I kept my distance because of the mere fact that they held positions of "authority". I actually have little idea what that means. She wasn't an authority figure at all, she was just . . . an adult? But she really wasn't (adult being a relative concept, I still don't feel like an "adult"). She was also a focal point for our political community at Oberlin (not that I was all that political. I was steeped in it, but I wasn't really active). She did good work, was passionate about her work, and we all loved her dearly.

The hard part of connecting with these really good, positive force people is that I tend to mask my darker side. Our conversations cut out the BS and get right to meaningful, substantive stuff, but once it gets to that level of discourse, it becomes a matter of me finessing my bottom line with descriptives like "existential" combined with "nihilistic". It's like a little dance. Either tap or soft shoe.

Built to Spill, sold out @ Great American Music Hall last night were great, with the possible exception of Doug Martsch being sick, probably with SARS, and coming close to losing his voice, occasionally coughing lyrics. This was the second time I've seen Built to Spill, they are much more enjoyable with knowledge of their repertoire. I wonder if it's customary for their audience to yell out song names that get virtually ignored by the band: "Car"! "Carry the Zero"! "Hurt a Fly"! "Freebird"! The last time I saw them, someone yelled out "Freebird" and they went into a verbatim rendition of the classic Lynrd Skynrd song. Stunning! "Daniel"! several people yelled in unison last night, and the band went into a reggaed-up version of the Elton John classic, Doug mangling the falsetto parts with his SARS problem and everything. I was tempted to yell out Modest Mouse song titles. "We're not Modest Mouse". They ended with a 17 minute rendition of Neil Young's "Cortez the Killer". He really sounds much more like Neil Young than Isaac Brock, but when "The Plan" rang out of my speakers the first time I heard them, I thought he did sound like Modest Mouse.

Most people I know, if they were to think about it, would probably cite my fave band as Versus, possibly Modest Mouse. Throwing Muses is also a pretty safe guess, easily making my top five fave bands of all time. I, myself, would put Peter Gabriel/Genesis in the #1 slot of favorite bands of all time. What I wouldn't have even guessed is . . . Led Zeppelin.

But I was at Amoeba, and in the new releases section was an empty rack with a post-it with "Led Zeppelin" scrawled on it. I non-chalantly strolled over to the Led Zeppelin section, and yes, there was a new 3 CD set of never-before-released live recordings, and on the sticker it said, "Also in DVD". So I non-chalantly strolled over to the DVD section, and yes, there was a new Led Zeppelin DVD of those performances! I bought it using my precious credit slip which had $29 on it. It didn't even occur to me that I could've gotten it cheaper at Best Buy and used the precious credit slip for used CDs as planned. When I got home and realized this, I asked myself, "what just happened?"

It's true. I was a raging Led Zeppelin fan when I was too young to really appreciate why they were one of the greatest rock and roll bands of the '70's. I listen to them now and they amaze me, and I think that there was no way I could've really appreciated this when I was 11 years old! So when it sunk in that this was footage of live Led Zeppelin that I had never seen and never even imagined seeing when I was a kid, my mind just clicked into "buy this" mode without even thinking of more practical, financially prudent, options.

The sun was finally shining when I woke up this morning. I decided to go for a ride finally, and unlike the past two days, everything went smoothly. I decided to do the first ride from the 51 Bay Area Bike Rides book that I tried last year and got reamed on. I was a bit apprehensive while taking the BART out to the East Bay today since I'm still not in full condition, and 50 miles is at the upper end of what I can do. But I made a list in my head of why the ride was such a disaster last year, and how those things have been remedied by now.

Last year: it was my first long ride and I had no idea what to expect. This year: I know what to expect of long rides.
Last year: it being my first ride, I hammered it from the start, feeling good. This year: I know about pacing.
Last year: no clipless shoes, no cycling shorts, yes CD player, yes camera. This year: the opposite.
Last year: not enough rests until it was too late. This year: rests every 10 miles for not being in condition.

It turned out to be a terrific, exhilarating ride, starting at Concord BART station, circling around Mt. Diablo through Morgan Territory Regional Preserve, up through Danville, and ending at Walnut Creek BART. There was a light 800ft. climb in Morgan Territory that I was still struggling with (need to work on my climbing muscles, which were obviously unaffected by training for the Bay to Breakers), followed by a five mile 1200ft. non-technical descent on which I hit 44mph (whoee!).

There is some serious gorgeous property down by Danville! Seriously rich people must live there. Texas-sized bike lanes; whole families could ride on those bike lanes. All the residences in gated communities. "Mastered" communities. Scary. I think of where my parents live in suburbia New Jersey and wonder how awful it would have been if entire sections were walled in. Scared rich people need to wall themselves in. I'm sure they don't mind. I sure didn't mind the beautiful, manicured park with a pond, fountain, sycamore trees (I think it was Sycamore Valley Park), and no people, where I took a long rest. Mind you, I hate resting. I only take rests because I have to; stopping during a ride makes me . . . restless. But I was splayed out on this park bench, in the sun by this pond with this fountain for a good 20 minutes.

From Danville to Walnut Creek, I deviated from the ride in the book and took the Iron Horse Trail, part of a system of recreational trails that the East Bay is aggressively developing. I have to admit it was quite pleasant. More perks for rich people. They should have a program where they take at-risk, inner-city kids out to Danville and Contra Costa County and show them where they could live if they stay away from drugs and gangs, get a good education, and blah, blah, blah. Of course, if that happens, where will the next white flight take the scared rich white people?

Have I mentioned the latest Supergrass CD is rocking my socks off? That guy has the coolest-ass voice.

I haven't seen anyone for a week, since Han and Ikuko at the Bay to Breakers Footstock last Sunday. Going for a new record. I also haven't shaved in a week. Or run. Or ridden. Don't ask about clothes changes. When someone sees me next, I want them to think, "Geez, he's really let go". I think I'll eat a pizza tonight. I just need some flies flying around my head. And a wife-beater. Ooh, I have one!

Two days of overcast weather, tomorrow I may need to resort to heading to the East Bay for a fix of sun. Should probably take my bike with me. I made two feel-good purchases today that were so worth it. I got the Talking Heads "Stop Making Sense" and Stevie Ray Vaughn "Austin City Limits" DVDs. I maintain that "Stop Making Sense" is among the top ten rock movies ever made. Top five. I got home, stuck it on just to run the "Psycho Killer" sequence, and ended up watching the entire thing, including credits, with the commentary track on. It's just brilliant, every song has a different visual feel, the material is amazing, and the energy and the performances are incredible. I think Stevie Ray Vaughn is one of those artists whose source of inspiration is so outside of them that eventually "god calls them home". It's like he's not playing the guitar, but channeling it from some divine source. Eric Clapton, who I think reeks, can't touch Stevie. Clapton once commented that Stevie never stops to think about what he's going to do next, the blues just flows through him.

I'm getting sick of arriving back to the Bay Area and finding it freezing.

I took a day trip to Yosemite today. I'm starting to wonder about these solo excursions of mine. Am I trying to make a point to myself? Families, youth groups, religious (cult) groups, couples. We need our people, our communities, that's what makes living wherever worth it, San Francisco, Tucson, Portland, Yosemite, the place doesn't matter. It's the people.

Needless to say, Yosemite was gorgeous. I think people go there just to be in the peace and tranquility of the place. Although I get a little disturbed by the constant feeling of something looming, that being the canyon walls. Even when you can't see them, you can sort of feel them. Yosemite is kinda the opposite of the Grand Canyon. Instead of going to the rim and hiking down, in Yosemite you enter at the bottom and hike up. I tried climbing the Four Mile Trail to Glacier point, a 3200' ascent, but I abandoned 200' shy of the top because of vertigo. There was still snow up there, and there were sections of the trail where it was necessary to negotiate snow covered trail. I was doing alright until I hit one patch maybe 15 meters long, but it was really steep, and sheer with a cliff going down, down, down. Other people had crossed it, so there were footprints to match to get across, but I got halfway across, my fingers were stinging from the snow, and I was just looking down, down, down. I turned myself around and headed back, humming the "Brave Sir Robin" sequence from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"*.

Yosemite Falls was a raging torrent with the melting Sierra snows. I just stared and watched the water falling in its power and fury for the longest time. Shunryu Suzuki made an analogy of life upon watching Yosemite falls, how we are like the individual drops falling, but once we hit the bottom, we're all the same stuff, part of one big thing. I wonder if he got wet when he was there.

*"Brave Sir Robin"
part I
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--

part II
Brave Sir Robin ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin.

part III
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.

Crikey, it looks like I came in 499th place in the Bay to Breakers! Freaky. For most of the race, it looks like there's a sea of people in front of you. Maybe people start pooping out after the race gets into the park. I guess by the end, the field was pretty thin. Still, damn! I was just hoping to make the top 1000. I won't believe it until I see it in the souvenir edition of the Examiner on Thursday.

The past few days have been gloriously warm here. That's another thing I hate about San Francisco. When it's gloriously warm and you don't do something outside like hang out in the park or go to the beach, you feel you've wasted one of the few gloriously warm days alloted per year. I'm thinking of taking a day trip to Yosemite tomorrow.

Bay to Breakers
Posting was lost. Oh well.

Distance: 7.46 miles
Time: 55:48
Mile splits:
1) 8:22 (slow, jostling through a huge crowd, flat)
2) 7:38 (crowd starting to thin, maneuvering still required, flat)
3) 7:48 (Hayes St. hill, ran up the less crowded sidewalks, 200ft. climb over 5 blocks)
4) 7:43 (Fell St., flat, recovering from the hill, trying to run under the shade of trees)
5) 7:46 (Golden Gate Park, easy ups and downs, crowd dissipated)
6) 7:00 (fast downhill)
7) 6:35 (fast downhill, pushing the finish)
8) 2:53 (half-mile sprint to the finish)
The idea of me doing a 6:35 mile is just nuts.

an email exchange sorta for Joycee:
-----Original Message-----
From: Cassandra
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 2:19 PM
Subject: Bealeing on Wednesday, May 14

As many of you know, I am leaving for Canada this Friday (May 16). I hope to see you all down at Beale on Wednesday (so you can buy me a "going on holiday" drink).

-----Original Message-----
From: TK
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 2:17 PM
Subject: RE: Bealeing on Wednesday, May 14

So you won't be worth a shit at work on Thursday?

-----Original Message-----
From: Eric
Sent: Monday, May 12, 2003 4:26 PM
Subject: RE: Bealeing on Wednesday, May 14

I've worked with Cass for nearly 3 years, and I am almost certain the quality of her work on Thursday morning will be just as noteworthy as it is any other day of the week. As far as I can tell, there's no reason to believe that a drunken night of revelry will lower her work standards one iota.

-----Original Message-----
From: Koji
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 1:58 AM
Subject: Re: Bealeing on Wednesday, May 14

Being sober or drunk made a pretty big difference for me. I worked better when I was drunk. I loved how my team used to make up excuses for me for why I would come to work stinking of gin. I couldn't have had a more supportive, enabling team.

----- Original Message -----
From: Eric
Sent: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 11:11 AM
Subject: RE: Bealeing on Wednesday, May 14

Sample conversation at our morning meeting:
Eric: Gee, did anyone notice Koji stinks of gin again this morning?
Josefa: Who?
Eric: Koji Li.
Theresa: I like gin.
Josefa: Rum's good too.
Eric: Yeah, so, um, did anyone notice?
Theresa: Notice what?
Eric: That koji reeks of booze this morning!
Josefa: Maybe he helped a drunken homeless man across the street? You know how helpful Koji is.
Theresa: Yeah that's probably it.
Eric: Yeah, probably.
Theresa: Any other items of concern this morning?
Josefa: Nope
Eric: Nichts.
Koji: Zzzzzzzzzzz

A sick part of me misses Josefa. A very sick part. I need to watch "Secretary" again. j/k.

No spoilers here:
I saw an advanced screening of the new Matrix movie last night in Oakland. I don't know why I went, I was just being a sheep because a lot of people were going. What was I thinking? It was pretty standard action fare - slick, stylized (predictable) fight scenes, car chases, motorcycle chases, neat special effects, Keanu flying like Superman. One nice joke poking fun at Keanu's legendary stupidity. One completely unnecessary underground rave sequence which went on too long and didn't serve the plot at all. By "went on too long" I mean it shouldn't have been there at all, and talk of serving the "plot" misleadingly suggests that there was one. A few scenes of people talking on and on, perhaps trying to inject some of the intellectualism of the first film into this one, and failing to do so, or more likely an attempt to explain what is going on to a befuddled audience, also failing to do so. Finally, the ending: TACKY!!

On a positive note, I didn't sit through the film thinking about how bad it was, the action carries itself fine. And you can't notice plot holes when you can't even notice a plot. I wasn't insulted or disgusted, just unmoved and unsympathetic towards anyone. When I see a well done martial arts fight scene, my arm and leg muscles tend to involuntarily tense up (block! strike! twist! jump! duck!). Last night I noticed them not tensing up. I had to ask afterwards how many times can a guy get punched in the face without their sunglasses flying off, but Han suggested that they were virtual sunglasses since they were in the Matrix.

I went for a run in Golden Gate Park yesterday, a week to go before Bay to Breakers. I bonked after 35 minutes from under-hydration and mild heat exhaustion. It was sort of a warm day, but it was windy with the potential of being chilly, so I wore a black shirt in case I needed to soak in the sun to keep warm. In practice, though, it got pretty hot, and I didn't feel like removing my shirt even though that would have been wise and might have allowed me to finish the run. I have my reasons. Today, I went jogging with ex-coworker Katie, and that went quite well. She runs at a slower pace, so it was the equivalent of an aerobic workout with no serious strain. Endorphins comfortably running their course through my veins afterwards, whee!

Tonight was rehearsal with S*die and H*n's band for a drummerless gig on Saturday. Not exactly drummerless, though, just that their regular drummer can't make it. The current plan, subject to change, is that I'll bring my drums to bang on for some songs, H*n will bang on them for some songs, and maybe by the end of the week, S*die will be banging on them for some songs, too. I think this can fairly be described as an "experimental" gig. Good times.

I guess I forgot how much a ride can take out of me. The Tucson walkabout got my riding up to par, but I haven't ridden since then (almost a month ago!) since I've been running more in "training" for the Bay to Breakers. Today I went for a "casual" ride, a moderate 28-miler with moderate climbs, down Highway 1 starting in a coastal town called San Gregorio. I've fallen out of form and completed the route more than 10 minutes slower than when I did it last year when I was in shape. No surprise, no disappointment. I didn't take enough rests and I was struggling at the end as a result. Bleah. I got there via Half Moon Bay, and I swear I still have no idea where the Half Moon Bay Ritz-Carlton is.

So the ride took a lot out of me and I got home too late to meet up with Han and Ikuko and friends to catch the new X-Men movie. And it took enough out of me that I bailed on meeting up with a bunch of old Oberlin folk, my first "community" upon moving out here, this evening. But that was out in the East Bay, so I feel justified. East Bay, man, whatever.

I did make it to the second night of Throwing Muses, and it was even better than last night; it was more relaxed, more confident, more rockin'. Kristin Hersh talked more, indicating a higher level of relaxedness. The folk I met last night were also there in the same place they were last night, right at the foot of the stage. Freaks! If I were the band, I'd be gettin' scared about them. Well, I'm just about done with seeing live shows until the Built to Spill show on the 27th. Sold out! Woohoo!

I met up with Lisa for the first time today, someone I only know through online journaling. We had brunch in the lower Haight. You know, it's qualitatively different meeting someone through online journaling. There isn't any period of uncertainty or "getting to know" each other, no putting up fronts, figuring each other out, or trying to come across as this or that. If you've been reading each other's journals, you already know if you like them or not, and you have an idea what's going on in their lives. It was just, boom, what do we have to talk about. Familiarity isn't there, though. Maybe it'll come, maybe it won't, but the reason why you read their journal doesn't change and you'll presumably continue to.

We saw each other again this evening at Throwing Muses. Lisa and I have been mentioning meeting up at shows since Mission of Burma last year. The reason we met for brunch today was because it was, "OK, let's quit this, meet up, get it over with, we know each other, next time we're at a show we'll recognize each other, starting with Throwing Muses".

Throwing Muses blew the roof off the dump. Unlike their 2nd Gut Pageant reunion show a couple of years ago, they were well-rehearsed and the crowd was totally there with them. I don't know what it is about Kristen Hersh and Throwing Muses, it's very inaccessible music, but something just draws me into it. And it's not just me. I met two people at the show who had met each other at the shows in Boston and have been following Throwing Muses to New York, to Los Angeles, to San Francisco, and will continue following them up to Seattle. There was another English couple who have been following them through the European leg of the tour! I thought I was nuts for going tonight and tomorrow night. I'm not.

I think the highlights of the show was the new material, especially "Mercury" and "Pandora's Box", which totally rocked. Hopefully they'll put "Portia" back in the set for tomorrow night.

I got my runner number for Bay to Breakers today: 32440. When I used to run, I used to use the same four safety pins to pin the race bib on whatever shirt I was wearing. I still have those same four safety pins. How scary is that? How geeky is that? Another tradition was that I would always wear the race shirt of the last race I ran. I'd have to check to see if the last race I ran was the 1999 SF Marathon or if I did a Bay to Breakers since 1999. Yikes.

Tonight I went out to Great American Music Hall for the Broadcast/Echoboy show. I haven't heard a note of either band, but D*lphine got me in free, so I went. D*lphine's friend, Yuka, also came, and S*die, H*n, Ik*ko, and H*n's friends Ted and Nora also were there. What I didn't expect was my ex-coworkers Eric and Jake to be there, and they were sitting in the balcony right near S*die, H*n, Ik*ko, et al. So when a waitress handed me a beer and told me it was from, "blah blah", and pointed up to the balcony, it took me a couple seconds to look left of H*n and S*die to see Eric and Jake. I went right up to say hi to them, abandoning Del and Yuka. Eric was my teammate and we had our problems which were totally unjustified. I hold him in the highest regard, but it was the workplace that created tensions, so I wanted to show right away that it was nothing personal. And hey, gay men buying me beers across a crowded, smoky room? No hetero women are doing that, so it was clear who I'd be spending the most time with.

Oig! Went to Beale St. this evening. They were having a promo for Red Hook ESB. When you have to check to make sure your bike is in the apartment 3 hours after getting home, you know you had one or two or three too many.

Unemployment screws with time. Yesterday morning I woke up thinking it was Sunday. Last night I realized at 8:00, when Buffy wasn't on, that it wasn't Tuesday. And at one point today I had the rude realization that it wasn't Monday.

I need to head out of town for another roadtrip soon. I haven't even filled my car with gas since I got back from Tucson. I need to test the engine before any major trip, and I still need to check on the brakes. Things are in danger of stagnating. Yesterday I went on what was supposed to be a light power run, using the streets in the Mission with traffic signals, sprinting a block, stopping and resting at red lights, jogging rest blocks, letting the lights determine what I do each block. It was supposed to be light, but then it got extended into Potrero Hill, sprinting up hills, going light at times, and pushing flats at times. Katie emailed today to see if I wanted to go for a run, and I was going to rest until Friday, but figured that running with Katie would be good because she runs at a slower pace and that would keep me from pushing. But alas, rain prevented running and going to Beale St. Friggin' rain. I considered driving to Beale St., but driving in the city wanks.

geek shit:
Been "training" for Bay to Breakers, the difference being that instead of being a runner and just working up to the run, I'm starting from scratch, trying to get everything up to speed - and that's just not going to happen. The endurance part is kinda there, and completing the 12k/hour of running should be no problem. I've been working on hills to make sure I don't bonk on the Hayes St. hill, and I have a ways to go on that but it's doable. The hardest part for me is power reserves and being able to tap in at any point and be able to push the pace. That's what I used to run for, that feeling of "I can". Because there's nothing worse than the feeling of being tapped and thinking "I can't". This will, in all likelihood, be my last Bay to Breakers for a while, but I need to get it out of my head that it will be my best.

S*die invited me down to the rehearsal space on Saturday and I declined, so I think I made clear that my participation in her band is not a continuous or regular thing, and I don't think she'll be inviting me again anytime soon. Our friendship is not something that would survive the inner delicacies of band politics. For her band, I'll put down the roots and a groove for a gig in a pinch. It's a job, albeit unpaid, it's not expression, it's not about what I hear, which I admit may be crap.

Last night was a bit of drama, me getting dragged out for dinner when I was ready to collapse on the floor, but it was S*die and a bunch of D*lphine's friends so it couldn't be that bad. I could have bitten someone's head off for all I cared, but at the end of the night, Del's friends Juan and Lan found that they got to the parking lot too late to retrieve their car, so we had to figure everything out to get everyone home and Lan to get her car today; Lan living in San Jose making it an inconvenience. I got her car out of the lot today so that at least the keys were in the hands of someone she knew and could trust. I'm resisting, but I like D*lphine, and being a friend of D*lphine is enough for me to take an extra step for Lan and Juan to feel at ease, especially when I feel independently that they are good people.

Three rehearsals and a gig
OK, the actual gigging is fun, the being on stage and playing and rocking out. It's much more fun gigging on bass than on drums, although I like both. Playing drums has a lot more responsibility to hold things down, and I hate responsibility. Bassist can float a groove on top of the drums and mistakes aren't as wince-worthy. Three rehearsals and a gig with S*die and H*n's band. I'd do it again if they asked me to. I think it would be cool if they had a revolving bass chair with whoever they know filling in. Hey, if I can get through a gig after three rehearsals, anyone can. I found out from ex-coworker Amy at Beale St. last night that the lead singer of one of the other bands is another ex-coworker. So Amy, Katie, and Ada, all ex-coworkers, showed up for that band. What I missed least about gigging was the schlepping, which I didn't have to do. H*n and S*die took care of it and I just had to show up with my bass.

I finally registered for Bay to Breakers since I think everyone else already has. S*die, Bob, H*n, Ik*ko, Amy, Katie, and Ada are all doing it. Should be interesting since I haven't had any reason to wear running shorts and t-shirt in public in four years. I've gotten used to people being surprised that I get all geeky about running (related ailments, training, form, philosophy). The vast majority of people I currently know met me after I stopped four years ago. But now that my knees are better and I'm running again, I don't really want it to be part of my identity anymore. It's in my past, and I'll do it now because I enjoy it, but no more geeking out about it. No more pushing and the perpetual quest for a personal best. Although I did splurge and buy a new pair of running shoes today, a total luxury purchase, because the $50 pair of Brooks sneakers I bought in October have already gone flat. I also picked up a ticket for Throwing Muses next Friday. Thinking of picking up a ticket for Throwing Muses next Saturday.