geek shit:
Been "training" for Bay to Breakers, the difference being that instead of being a runner and just working up to the run, I'm starting from scratch, trying to get everything up to speed - and that's just not going to happen. The endurance part is kinda there, and completing the 12k/hour of running should be no problem. I've been working on hills to make sure I don't bonk on the Hayes St. hill, and I have a ways to go on that but it's doable. The hardest part for me is power reserves and being able to tap in at any point and be able to push the pace. That's what I used to run for, that feeling of "I can". Because there's nothing worse than the feeling of being tapped and thinking "I can't". This will, in all likelihood, be my last Bay to Breakers for a while, but I need to get it out of my head that it will be my best.

S*die invited me down to the rehearsal space on Saturday and I declined, so I think I made clear that my participation in her band is not a continuous or regular thing, and I don't think she'll be inviting me again anytime soon. Our friendship is not something that would survive the inner delicacies of band politics. For her band, I'll put down the roots and a groove for a gig in a pinch. It's a job, albeit unpaid, it's not expression, it's not about what I hear, which I admit may be crap.

Last night was a bit of drama, me getting dragged out for dinner when I was ready to collapse on the floor, but it was S*die and a bunch of D*lphine's friends so it couldn't be that bad. I could have bitten someone's head off for all I cared, but at the end of the night, Del's friends Juan and Lan found that they got to the parking lot too late to retrieve their car, so we had to figure everything out to get everyone home and Lan to get her car today; Lan living in San Jose making it an inconvenience. I got her car out of the lot today so that at least the keys were in the hands of someone she knew and could trust. I'm resisting, but I like D*lphine, and being a friend of D*lphine is enough for me to take an extra step for Lan and Juan to feel at ease, especially when I feel independently that they are good people.